Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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