do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize