We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
