so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
