i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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