you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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