My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
