I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
