You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
