I want to have your abortion
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
