bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
ttyl tear gas
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Randomize
