Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
