some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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