Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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