then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
