Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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