The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize