so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
