The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
my sisters under your porch take her home
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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