I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize