After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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