Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
