I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
