i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
