I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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