I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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