i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
