there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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