Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Randomize
