Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
