I didn't shave. On purpose
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
