oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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