His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
