Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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