I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
