This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize