Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
