Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
