i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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