You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
