dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
