yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
