Will you blow on my dice?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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