Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just gift wrapped bread.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
