i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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