Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize