I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
