I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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