Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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