I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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