Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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