physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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