the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Do vagina's smell?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
