At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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