don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
