I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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