are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
