Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
please come you make the beer taste better
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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