I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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