Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
