Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
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And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
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I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize