I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Four minutes until I can fart!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
