she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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