She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
